I have been wrestling with issues surrounding diversity for a while now. I long for diversity in my life because I can see the value of it, but it is lacking in my world. Or so I thought. What I am finding is that diversity is not about skin color, sex, or sexual orientation solely. Diversity is all around me in the attitudes and opinions of the people I associate with every day. Sometimes diversity is very subtle and can easily be missed and if I want to broaden my horizons, I need to broaden the way that I look at diversity.
Yes, I want colorful people in my child's life. I want them in my life. But if I am willing to dig a little past appearances, I can find what I am looking for. The subtler forms of diversity can be difficult to manage because opinions and attitudes can be tricky. We naturally gravitate toward people who share our beliefs, values and dreams right? But I think that life can be so much richer when we have to think deeply, debate respectfully, and open our minds to the ideas of others. How do we do this while still sticking strongly to our own values and attitudes? I've decided that it does not go against my values to have conversations with people I don't agree with, in fact, I am evolving into the type of person who is beginning to value this.
I don't think that we have enough opportunity in daily life for critical thinking and that is what I am talking about. I can remain true to myself while opening myself to the ideas of others. Some of my best friends are people who I originally was afraid of, did not understand, or really did not like. It is hard to forge a friendship with someone when you don't have strong feelings about them one way or the other, and how boring would my life be if I only associated with people who never challenged my ideas and attitudes.
I had a good conversation with a friend the other day about voter registration laws. I would not call it a heated discussion per se, but we were definitely coming at it from different angles. I like to think that we both came away from it with some new knowledge or ways of thinking about it. The conclusion seemed to be that we did not know the answers, and decided that sometimes that has to be good enough.
So I am challenging myself, and whoever else may read this to open your mind and your circle a little bit. Identify where diversity is lacking in your life, then seek to meet and associate with those people you don't understand or agree with. I really think that it is a step toward peace that we don't often think about.
My latest challenge is befriending a very nice person who, I found out later, is staunchly pro-life and stands outside clinics praying. Now, back in the day, I was an escort at a women's clinic and am adamantly pro-choice. But, I can see the areas where we overlap. This is a hard one to sit with!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment. I can see where that would be hard. But I think that there can be common ground in most relationships. There are always deal breakers, but when two people really commit to making a relationship work despite philosophical differences, there can be beautiful results. I would struggle with this mightily as my opinions on the matter are strong. But I love about you that you have not written off the possibility of what might be.
ReplyDeleteThanks for a very good reminder! I know, like and trust people with a pretty wide range of opinions, and am still trying to figure out when it's helpful to have the controversial conversations and when it's best just to avoid certain areas. When we do have the tough conversations I often find that it helps if I ask for the stories behind the opinions: how did you come to this conviction? what's your experience been with this issue, and/or with people on the other side of it? This gives me a legit opening to work in my own stories, it helps me see where the other person is coming from, and storytelling mode just is different enough from arguing mode so that we can usually avoid getting overheated. I've found this especially helpful in having the discussions that are most apt to push my buttons--discussions about social safety net programs and about immigration.
ReplyDeleteOn the same page with you here. Just in the past year i have made tremendous growth in personal development as a direct result of not assuming i know the answers, being willing to ask questions & most importantly willing to listen to those answers. Especially when they differ from mine. Sometimes i change my mind, sometimes the other person does & some times we have to agree to disagree. I think that is ok too.
ReplyDeleteThanks,
@DaveGrigger